This one is a tough one. My mom was very social, very active in our community, and had lots of friends. She volunteered for years with Kiwanis. She also worked for 40 years at a local financial planner and met many local residents that way as well.
Being an introvert myself, one of the things I admire most about my mom was her large circle of friends. That said, my mom was also very private when it came to health issues and often invoked “I’m fine” when anyone would ask how she is doing. One time after wine tasting she tripped on a buckle in the pavement (we were not drunk!) and fractured her pelvis. She waited A MONTH before going to the doctor.
Doctors are a topic for another post. I will say that at least our experience has been that with a horrible disease like this, you find out very quickly who your friends are. Admittedly, I am very Mama Bear when it comes to protecting my mother from people who I felt would gossip about her. Most simply faded away. All the years of camping, celebrating birthdays, weddings, holidays, BBQs, you get the point, seemed to mean nothing. I understand people may not know what to say or do around my mom now, but it hurts.
A few have stuck by her thick and thin since we moved to Oregon 43 years ago. Her closest friend passed away a few weeks ago. Unexpectedly. We have not told her. I do not know if she would understand, but in case she does, I don’t want to break her heart. This friend was also very special to me. She was like another mother and called me her #2 daughter (she already has a #1). Her loss has broken me. I can’t imagine my life without either of my moms.