Ok, let’s get to it. But first, this post, this blog is in no way meant to shame or embarrass my mother. it is part of caregiving and something I need to talk about. Now, the thing to remember is this: Everyone Poops (cute book).
During this whole thing, there are a few things that my dad and I agreed to at the very start; keep my mom home for as long as humanly possible and preserve as much of her dignity and privacy as we can. It seems counterintuitive that I am writing a blog and including some of the icky stuff. However, I think it is important to write this down. To document this part of the journey too.
This morning was icky, although yesterday was way worse. We are at the point where my mom wears Depends day and night. Hospice provides “briefs,” but they are pretty flimsy so we stick with Depends.
Trying to change soiled underwear on a grown woman who is still mobile (somewhat) is difficult, to say the least. It reminds me of this one time with one of my nephews. He was two at the time and had a soiled diaper. I thought no big deal, let’s get him changed and back in business. I plopped him down on the dining room floor, with no towel, no changing pad, nothing, and got to work. At the point where the diaper was loose but not off, he decided enough was enough and started wiggling, crying, rolling, kicking, etc. Needless to say, there was poop everywhere; him, me, his pants, carpet. It was a mess! After everything was cleaned up I went into the garage and sat there sobbing. Why would he fight so much when i was just trying to help!?
She was not too wiggly today, but somehow I managed to get it everywhere. On her, on me, on her nightgown, on the floor. I am becoming an expert at doing laundry. There has to be a better way! And I feel horrible for her. She cannot talk but she is still in there somewhere and her eyes told me she was dying a bit inside. I hate this disease.